Christmas PARTy

Who is this entity who had not just a Christmas party but also a Christmas PARTy? Its like this:

This entity organized a Christmas party and invited all their friends to attend. This entity wants to make the party a big one so they decided to get a big venue and prepared a sumptous meal for their visitors.

One problem is this entity is known for asking friends to bring gifts to the party – not that it’s OK but people are used to this practice. What shocked most of their friends is for this Christmas, not only were they asked to bring gifts, they were also asked to provide some money. Money to pay for the venue and the food. My goodness.

To this entity, what are you really? Christmas is about love and sharing, and you’re getting the wrong meaning of Christmas – you LOVE to receive gifts and you want your friends / guests to SHARE your expenses. Shame on you really.

Your friends simply can’t believe what you just did that’s why your secret is a secret no more.

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Identity Crisis

Who is this stupid reporter who has been assuming that he/she is the person to go to when it comes to innovations? Its like this:

This reporter will always boast about innovations to as many people as possible. That he/she owns this or that, or is using this or that. More often than not, featuring products that he/she sees only online. The only time this reporter will feature a product that is available locally is when the company will agree to his/her terms – that he/she has to own the product. Corrupt still.

To this stupid reporter, featuring product that you see only on website does not make you a reporter but more of a researcher. People are saying that you are having an identity crisis. What are you really?

Up to now you have not learn your lesson – that pretending to be someone that is not you will bring you nowhere. You have been in and out of projects because people see that you’re stupid and corrupt, and you choose to be stupid and corrupt still until now. Instead of working hard you choose to be jealous. Your claim to fame is to bring other people down.

Attending seminars will not cure you either – sincerity should come from within. Seek guidance and pray hard. You are a certified fake from head to toe and people are starting to be worried because they say you are living in your own dream world.

People are tired with excuses when they ask this reporter about his/her innovations that is why this reporter’s secret is a secret no more.

Taking Car(e) of Business

Who is this executive who seems to be at a lost when it comes to his/her priorities? Its like this:

This executive got a new car from his/her company, as part of the package I guess. Now, one of the role of this executive is to visit partners/clients, maybe that’s one of the reason why this executive was given a new car. Giving this executive a new car seems to be a bad idea.

All of a sudden, this executive made this new rule and tells all their partners/clients that he/she can only visit them if they can provide him/her a covered parking space. I repeat, this executive will only visit their partners/clients if they can provide a covered parking space. Not just a parking space – but a covered parking space. Why? The car might get damaged by the sun.

Let me tell you executive, you were given a car to visit your partners/clients because that is part of your job. Why don’t you do it this way? Buy a big umbrella for your car, or use your car whenever its raining or don’t use your car anymore and take a cab instead. My goodness…. Do your jon or you will lose your car, and your job.

The clients are waiting for the arrival of this executive not because they like to see this executive but because they need to sit down and talk about business, that is why this executive’s secret is a secret no more.

First Timer

Who is this stupid wannabe arrogant nobody (SWAN) who has this bad habit of asking the same question in every event he/she is attending? Here’s the story:

This SWAN will intently listen to a presentation eagerly awaiting for the opportunity to drop his/her patented question. So when the floor was open for questions, this SWAN will make sure that he/she will be the first to ask a question (I don’t know why). And the question (almost always) goes like this:

“Is this the first time you’re offering this product?” said this SWAN to which the host would answer “NO, we have been carrying this product for quite some time now (as in years). We are simply providing updates / enhancements to it.”

In other events, this SWAN will also ask the same question “Is this your first time or is this the first time?” First time here and First time there.

To this SWAN, are you a first timer? Why do you have the same question everytime you attend an event? We know you’re stupid but do you really have to prove to people that you are really stupid by always asking stupid questions? First time? You don’t even know the product line-up of every company that you are attending? Let me tell you this – this is the first time people are seeing a stupid SWAN in action.

People cant help but laugh everytime this SWAN is asking his/her patented stupid first-time questions that is why this SWANs secret is a secret no more.

Eat and Run

Who is this dreamer who attended an event and made a classic Houdini act. It’s like this:

This dreamer (who dreams to become a writer / reporter) attended an event, who came in late, positioned him/herself near the buffet table, and start doing his/her purpose of attending the event – to have a sumptuous meal. This dreamer enjoyed it so much that he/she didn’t even bother to say hi to the host nor listen to the presentation.

And you guess it right, after filling up his/her empty stomach, this dreamer vanished in thin air. Left with no hi, hello and thank you. So fast that the host didn’t even know the dreamer attended that event.

To this dreamer, you are forgiven. People understand why you did such a thing. The fastest way to a dreamer’s heart is through your stomach right? Better to gatecrash than to beg right? The least you could have done is to thank the host – or BURP at least.

The waiters were so surprised to see how fast this dreamer gulp the food as if its water that is why this dreamer’s secret is a secret no more.

Slip of the Tongue?

Who is this supposed-to-be photography expert (SPE) who recently gave a very confusing answer to a simple question? It’s like this:

This SPE was asked to give some comments about a new product. This SPE said:

“Oh, this new DLSR is really good. I love it. Wherever I go, I bring it with me this new DLSR, it allows me to capture important events. I am very happy to have chosen this DLSR. DLSR this, DLSR that…

Wait a minutes, Is it Digital Single-Lens Reflex (DSLR) camera or Digital Lens-Single Reflex (DLSR) camera or Digital Reflex Lens-Single (DRLS) camera or Digital Lens Reflex Singe (DLRS) camera or Digital Reflex Single-Lens (DRSL) camera?

Too many people were around and heard what this SPE said that is why this SPEs secret is a secret no more.

Blah Blah Blah

Who is this arrogant staff (AS) who attended a company seminar and tried to be the speaker than to be the audience. Itís like this:

This company invited a speaker to conduct a seminar for its staff. After his/her talk, this speaker invited his/her audience to ask questions. What happened next was unbelievable -. this AS said:

ìI have a question,. regarding your talk, did you know that blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blah.î

The AS talked for like 3minutes that it prompted the speaker to politely interrupt this staff and ask, ìSo, what is your question?î Ouchh.

To this AS, do you miss your previous job so much that you need to make up for lost times? Youíre supposed to ask questions and not to do storytelling. You are there to listen, to learn and not to talk talk talk and talk. Shame on you.

A lot of people heard the impromptu storytelling act of this AS, that is why this AS secret is a secret no more.

Stupidity in the Cloud

Who is this reporter who made a fool of himself/herself? It’s like this:

This reporter attended a press conference where a company presented its cloud computing strategy. Cloud computing here, cloud computing there, it’s all about the cloud for this company. The company is embracing the cloud so to speak.

Come question and answer, this reporter raised his/her hand and with full conviction asked this question to the host:

“So if you are now embracing the cloud, how can someone without a credit card be able to buy your products? Like me, I donít have a credit card, how can I buy your product?”

To which the host answered, “You can go to your favorite computer shop and buy our application there. You can use cash or check to pay for itî.

This reporter asked the question over a microphone and all who attended heard it, that is why this reporterís secret is a secret no more.

It’s a Wrap

Who is this reporter who did not only do an interview but also allowed himself/herself to be interviewed? It’s like this:

A VIP had an event and this reporter went there to cover it. The event was a success that a victory party followed. This reporter also went to the party and continued to do the interview. Nothing wrong with that except when the VIP decided to call it a night, this reporter decided to call it a night as well ñ WITH the VIP. The reporter went to the room of the VIP and allowed the VIP to do the interview.

To this reporter, what can I say but it’s your life, it’s your career, it’s your interview, so it’s up to you. Just don’t mix work with pleasure.

There ís just too many people at the event and too many people at the party that is why this reporter’s secret is a secret no more.

Naked Fear

Who is this PR representative (PRR) who simply took ëPRí to the extremes? It’s like this:

This PRR sends out invitations regarding a client’s event. For whatever reason, this PRR sends a different kind of invitation to one particular member of the press. It’s an invite with his/her picture. WOndering what’s so special about the picture? It’s a half-naked picture.

To this PRR, what are you trying to prove? Inviting the press and courting him/her at the same time? Can’t you set aside your personal purpose to your professional responsibilities? Are you that hot with this press member that you can’t wait but grab the opportunity? You’re unbelievable. Go to the gym first before you even flaunt your so so body, STUPID.

We are in the age of technology and anything this PRR does, people can see ñ that is why this PRR’s secret is a secret no more.