Desperate Ambition

Who is this reporter who desperately tried to convince a company to provide him/her their product but failed?

This ambitious reporter (AR) approached this one company and offered to write about the company and its products. This AR offered a lot of his/her superficial services which led to this company to ask why all the offers.

This AR finally admitted that he/she wants to keep their product ( a six figure worth product ) in exchange for all the services. Guess what? The company turn down the offer saying they don’t practice that kind of procedure.

To this AR, it’s time that you wake up from dreamland. The rejection of this company is enough testament that you are nothing plus you are corrupt that is why they don’t want to deal with you. Asking an expensive product in exchange for articles? Where are your morals that you love to flaunt?

The company don’t know this AR that well that is why they are asking about this AR’s whereabouts, that is why this ARs secret is a secret no more.

Secret Casanova

Who is this former corporate employee (FCE) who has a different kind of style in wooing girls?

This FCE would send flowers, chocolates and notes in secret. This FCE would ask his co-employees to send flowers, chocolates and notes to the girl of his dream, who happens to be his co-worker as well. Which means everybody in the office knew that he is the secret admirer, even the girl knew. The only one in the office who thinks everything is done in secrecy is this FCE.

So as to stop his foolishness, the girl wrote back a note telling this FCE that she is already committed and that he should stop sending things for she is very much in love with her current boyfriend.

Guess what this FCE did? He replied to the note. The note said “How sure are you that your BF is the right guy for you unless you try other guys? Give me a chance and I will prove to you that I am the better guy.” Nice try. That’s what I call “Fighting Spirit”. The entire office had a good laugh.

To this FCE, can’t you tell when the fight is over? Can’t you see that the girl is telling you that she doesn’t like you? And are you forgetting something? It’s supposed to be a secret right? Why did you reply to a supposed to be “secret note”?

The entire office knew about this FCE’s secret style that is why his secret is a secret no more.

Can you spot the difference?

Who is this reporter whose head is full of stupidity? This reporter have been declaring to all that he/she is not corrupt. That he/she will not accept any gifts especially cash since it may be misconstrued as bribe. Nothing wrong about this really. Very noble, admirable and as a matter of fact, this kind of attitude should be adopted by other reporters.

The true color of this holier-than-thou reporter was revealed when in one event, the host distributed its press kit containing press releases, some goodies and an envelope with a gift certificate. The value of the gift certificate is a bit higher than the usual.

Upon knowing what’s inside the kit, other reporters approached this no-to-bribe reporter and told him/her about the content of the kit especially the gift certificate. They want to know if they should accept it or should they return it politely. This is what this stupid reporter said:

“Why should we return it? It’s not cash, it’s a gift certificate. That’s different”.

WHAT? Cash and Gift Certificates are different? What’s the difference? With cash, you spend it? With gift certifcates, you eat them? They are one and the same STUPID.

Other reporters who heard this statement were stunned in disbelief. And they are so many of them that is why this stupid reporter’s secret is a secret no more.

Down on your knees

Who is this reporter who was stripped with his/her weapons so to speak?

This reporter feels high and mighty always, attending press conferences wearing a crown of arrogance. Disappoint him/her and this reporter will not attend the next conference and will not write about the story. That is fine if the disappointment is valid. Problem is – it’s simply about ego most of the time.

There was one incident when this reporter vowed not to attend nor write about one company and its product, a boycott of some sorts. This reporter made sure the company knows about his/her threat and made sure the PR company of this company knows about it too.

As unfortunate as it may, the company and PR company tried to explain their side but this reporter turn a deaf ear. A NO is NO said this reporter.

Years had past, all of a sudden, this reporter started attending this company’s events once again. In other words, attending without an invitation – gatecrasher. The company and the PR being gracious host welcome the reporter as if nothing happened.

After the event, this reporter approached the PR of this company and said “Please send me a demo unit of your new product because I want to review it.” Now whether the company and its PR gave into the request I don’t know.

To this reporter – what happened to you? Why all of a sudden you’re down on your knees attending events uninvited and begging for review units? Why swallow your pride? Why so humble?

Does this reporter had a sad realization that he/she is actually a nobody in the industry? Or is it because the industry discovered that they can survive without one reporter like you? Make sure you don’t choke when you start swallowing all of your pride.

This reporter made sure the industry knew about his boycott, now other people made sure to make known his/her come back that is why this reporter’s secret is a secret no more.

A Mistake in Judgement

Who is this executive who committed one of the biggest blunders of media relation? It’s like this:

This executive went to see an executive of a publishing company. The purpose of this executive is to introduce his/her company, layout their plans and wants to established a long and lasting relationship with this publishing company.

Everything went well until this executive said to the executive of the publishing company “Do you know anyone from (name of competing publishing companies), we would like to establish the same relationship with them as well. Would it be possible that you refer us to them or it would be better if you could talk to them on our behalf”.

To this executive, remember that they are competing publishing companies. They cooperate and compete at the same time. You cannot ask an executive of one company negotiating with a competing company for your sake. Friendships has its limitations.

There are other people around during the visit of this executive that is why his/her secret is a secret no more.

You Can’t Afford Me

Who is this executive who made a job offer in a very tasteless manner? This executive attended an event and was seated with other guests. One of which is a media practitioner.

The night went by, and for whatever reason, this executive whispered to this media practitioner the following statements “Hey, if you need a job, just tell me, I will hire you”. To which this media practitioner said “Thank you.” A reply full of class if you ask me.

To this executive, who are you to make such an offer? Let me remind you that you are just an executive and not the owner of the company? And what made you think you can afford this media practitioner?

I would like to believe that this executive meant good, it’s just that the execution is wrong. Tactless in other words.

This executive voice was a bit too loud that is why his/her secret is a secret no more.

The Rude Awakening

Who is this Department Head (DH) who was recently awakened from dreamland?

For so many years, this DH arrogantly announces to the public that his/her department is the legitimate department or the main department of their company, and that all other departments are under his/her department or are merely supporting his/her department’s operations.

The DH is arrogrant and living in a fantasy world, and everyone under his/her department inherited the arrogance of their department head. Not to mention this DH stupidity as well.

Just recently, the company of this DH had enough of his/her arrogance. The company released a new structure, so that once and for all, everything will be cleared. Guess what, the department of this DH was nowhere to be found under the new structure.

To make matters worst, the supporting department as claimed by this DH was actually the main department of the company. Ouuchh..

This DH is now like an ostrich, hiding his/her red face to everyone, especially to his/her officemates and collegues. Heard that this DH has not been reporting to his/her office recently.

To this DH, you’re arrogance got the better of you. You almost have the entire world in your hands and yet you are not contended with what you have. You need to bring down others. Shame on you. Who is the supporting department now? Your department was not even recognize.

The changes and the announcement was so public that is why the secret of this DH is a secret no more.

The Stupid Unprofessionals

Who is this PR company who totally forgot what professionalism is all about because of money and stupidity? It’s like this:

This PR company accepted a project from a company that directly competes with their existing client. Worst, this PR company tried to hide the project from their existing client because they know it will greatly disappoint their client and at the same time violate their exclusivity contract.

As they all say, in this internet age, there is no such thing as secret. The client discovered the project handled by the PR agency. And of course, the client was very very disappointed and will soon terminate their contract with this PR agency.

To this PR agency, what can I say but you are really sooooo stupid. You know it’s forbidden and yet you still went ahead with the project. You even want to conceal the project from your client? Do you think other people in the industry is as stupid as your group? Tsk Tsk Tsk.

Your company is about public relation. Obviously you don’t know how to keep a relation and since it is your job to make everything public – your secret is a secret no more.

My Fake Baby

Who is this celebrity who had sex with a non-existent partner? It goes like this:

This celebrity went online and chatted with someone (allegedly a girl). The conversation went steamy until both agreed to have cybersex. Not contented with mere chatting, both agreed to use their webcam to view each other while they play with themselves.

So this celebrity positioned his camera so that his partner can see him in full view, naked that is. Of course the lady partner did the same, the lady was all naked as well. Only with a big twist – the lady partner was showing a taped performance.

Yes, you heard it right, the celebrity thought he is watching a live performance. He didn’t know that he was actually watching a taped video where a girl is playing by herself.

To make matters worst, the other party was recording every action of the celebrity. And to make matters worst again, this celebrity did the same act three times in different occassions with the same lady(?). Which means, the chatter has three versions of the celebrity playing by himself (which lasted for more than 10 minutes each).

My goodness gracious. To this celebrity – how come you didn’t even ask your online partner to do something that you wished her to do? Like perhaps asking the girl to touch this or say this. If you did, then you would have discovered that you are watching a taped performance. You can enjoy what you’re doing by not being stupid right?

The video showing this celebrity playing with himself is starting to proliferate that is why his secret is a secret no more.

Goodbye to the Generals

Who is this company who is about to lose more of its executives soon? This company already loss two if its generals just recently, and there are reports that more generals are to resign soon.

The reason for the resignations are the changes implemented by this company. According to sources, too much bureaucracy is the main reason why these executives can’t stand it anymore. Coupled with unclear direction and policy, the generals decided its time to call it quits.

To this company, listen to the cry of your employees, especially your executives. In terms of manpower, you grew too fast. In terms of revenue, you grew too slow. Something is wrong somewhere. Sometimes, hiring the right people is key. Letting go of key personnel is also key. So open your eyes and ears if you want your business to survive.

Too many people jumping off your ship is something the industry cannot ignore that is why your secret is a secret no more.