I am Thirsty

Who is this PR agency who went to a client acting as if he/she owns the company? It’s like this:

This PR agency went to see a client for a project presentation. Once inside the boardroom, the project team was already seated waiting for this PR to start.

To the amazement of everyone, the leader of this PR agency said “Can you get me some water?”, addressing it to the owner of the project. The owner of the project was in total disbelief, but manage to keep his/her composure and replied “We don’t serve water here but we do have some coffee in the pantry. You can get some if you want”.

To this PR agency, do you think you’re in a restaurant or still in your office? How stupid and arrogant can you be? Asking the owner of the project to get you a glass of water? You should have brought your own water (five gallons for all I care) if you’re that thirsty. You’re there to make a good impression. I seriously think you have to quit this PR business – you are getting OLD my dear.

Of course, this arrogrant leader didn’t win the project. But I think he/she got a one year supply of bottled water to cool him/her off.

There are just too many people inside that boardroom that is why this PR leader’s secret is a secret no more.

Dangerous Partner

Who is this executive who invited a partner to setup a business? Nothing wrong with the invitation except this executive is a shrewd partner.

This executive padded the rental fee of their shop, much much higher than the actual rent. In other words, the partner is paying more than he/she should be paying, and the executive is earning from the rental alone.

Much worst, the executive connived with the lessor not to inform the partner about the real rental fee.

To this executive, what can I say? You are back in your old ways. Making money out of nothing. All I can say is I hope you can look straight into the eyes of your kids and say that you honestly earned those money to feed them.

The partner is starting to doubt and ask questions that is why this executive’s secret is a secret no more.

A Disgruntled Fan

Who is this writer who is constantly criticizing a journalist but deep down inside is actually a fan of this journalist?

For every given opportunity, this arrogant but airhead writer will bad mouth this journalist and yet reads the work of this journalist regularly – to get new ideas about industry issues. Afterwhich, this writer will write a story based on what the journalist wrote and claim that it’s an original work of his/her.

To this writer, it must hurt you a lot that despite all your attempts to bring down this journalist, this journalist always get the juicy stories ahead of you. It must hurt you a lot to know that as much as you try to hate this journalist, you always end up realizing that you’re actually a “fan” of his/her work. Unconvince? Look at the things you’re presently doing – these are the exact things this journalist already did. You are not just a fan – you actually idolize this journalist.

As a writer, you should know that news will not come to you – you find the news. It would be hard for you to achieve anything if you do nothing but sleep. Are you sure you’re a writer or are you simply pretending to be one to enjoy the perks?

Your story and actions gave you away that is why your secret is secret no more.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Who is Stupid Staff (SS) who after complaining that a particular program would ruin the reputation and morale of his/her collegues, insisted that he/she should also get a share of the pie? It’s like this:

This SS protested a program designed to attract participation among this SS’s collegues since the winning individual / group of this program will receive a token of appreciation from the organizer.

According to this SS, the token of appreciation will somehow tarnish the good reputation of his/her collegues including this SS as well. To cut the story short, the program went on despite the protest of this SS.

The day came when the winners were announced. Of course, the tokens were handed to the winners. After the ceremony, this SS went to the organizers and said “Can I have that token as well”? WHAT?

To this SS, I thought you said it will tarnish your reputation? So why are you asking for the token? We are not not even sure if this SS joined the activity. If this SS did, then that means this SS loses, so no token. If this SS didn’t join, then the more this SS does not deserve to have the token. Should we call you “DoubleFace” from now on? They say you look like a dog begging for a bone that day. Arf Arf Arf.

The program coordinators were so shocked by this SS request that is why this SS secret is a secret no more.

Torn Between Two Lovers

Who is this male celebrity who was visited by two of his girlfriends at the same time? Here’s what happened:

This celebrity was intially visited by girlfriend number 1. The two were having a nice time when suddenly girlfriend number 2 came, catching celebrity feeding girlfriend 1 with some dessert.

Girlfriend number 2 went frantic and asked celebrity to explain. Celebrity said he didn’t expect girlfriend number 1 to visit him. Nevertheless, girlfriend 2 said that she cannot accept the fact that they were two in his life. Celebrity said between the two, he would choose girlfriend number 2 over girlfriend number 1 anytime of the day.

Girlfriend number 2 demanded more explaination, convince me some more she said. Then celebrity said I will choose you (girlfriend 2) anytime because you have something girlfriend 1 doesn’t have.

With that, girlfriend number 2 smiled and went home. Oh by the way, I forgot to tell you that girlfriend number 1 is a HE.

The mouth of girlfriend number 2 is uncontrollable that is why their secret is a secret no more.

One of a Kind

Who is this writer who recently admitted something that everyone knew all along?

This writer wrote an article and admitted that he/she does not know anything about the topic of the story. The admission was part of the story.

To this writer, let me say that I admire your honesty. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you don’t know the topic that you’re writing about.

Let me also thank you for confirming what most of us knew all along – that you are STUPID. Who in his/her right mind would write a story and admit that he/she does not know anything about the story topic?

We don’t expect any writer to know all the topics in this world. But the least one can do is to do some “research” about the topic or do some interviews before they write the story. Not only is this writer stupid, but also lazy.

Somebody emailed the story that is why this writer’s secret is a secret no more.

Hi Ho Silver Away

Who is this reporter who was caught riding a horse inside a van? Intrigued? Read on…

After a day’s work. this reporter decided to unwind a bit. He/She called his/her girlfriend/boyfriend to come and see him/her. The GF/BF came with his/her van, the reporter went inside the van and drove away. The reporter suggested to park the van somewhere. Why? So that they can share some intimate moments together.

As soon as they parked the van, everything went wild, windows started to moist due to intense heat. Suddenly a knock was heard, police officers were around to witness everything. In other words, the lovers were caught in the act. Thinking that he/she can get away with it, this reporter tried to pull some strings by calling some influential people. To cut the story short, this reporter got off the hook.

To this reporter – the next time you want to do some horseback-riding adventure, do it in Tagaytay (horsey horsey) or somewhere private. If you decide to do it in a public place, make sure no one’s around. Are you that hot to be that careless?

Because this reporter called someone for help, that someone can’t help but relate the story to others – that is why the secret of this reporter is a secret no more.

A Second Rate, trying hard Copycat

Who is this staff who accuses an executive of one company of being a “has been” and a “copycat”?

This staff is going around spreading lies that this executive is no longer respected in the industry, that this executive is copying ideas from other companies, and that this executive is a “has been”.

Guess what, the company of this staff recently launched a new project, and the ideas of this so-called “has been” executive were implemented and applied in the new project. Amazing.

To this staff, I thought you said the ideas of this “has been” executive were copied from others? So what do you call a company that copies the ideas of a copycat? A copydog? Or a copy-straycat? Eat your words you stupid moron.

The ideas of this executive are seen prominently in the new project that is why this secret is a secret no more.

Bankrupt

Who is this company who is reportedly decided to close shop for some unknown reason? This company didn’t just close shop, this company left a big mark in the industry – a big blackeye to be more precise.

This company is reportedly leaving the industry with a total debt of P 120M pesos. My goodness gracious. How did it happen? Why did it happen? Industry sources said this is the biggest debt ever recorded in the industry where this company is associated with.

Companies are now trying to get in touch with this company in the hope that this company will pay them – whether in full or partial, and whether in cash or in kinds.

The debt is just too big to ignore that is why this company’s secret is a secret no more.

Confused Souls

Who is this company who seems to be in limbo and does not know what to do with their campaigns? This company is notorious when it comes to launching various campaigns, and more often than not – most of their campaigns are flops.

The campaigns are worth millions of pesos and to add insult to injury, this company almost always fails to meet their objectives and expectations. For awhile we thought this company has learned their lesson but we were mistaken.

Just recently, this company is again launching another campaign and from the start, all its partners are saying that this campaign is not different from the previous ones. Imagine, a campaign that was not yet launch and the end result is already known – a definite failure.

To this company, or should I say to the people of this company – where are your brains? Have you not learn your lessons? Just because it’s not your money (as in personal money), it doesn’t mean that you can be stupid and spend your company’s money carelessly.

The partners of this company are so frustrated because instead of helping them increase their sales, the campaigns are actually hurting them more, and they can’t stand this company’s stupidity anymore – that is why the secret of this company is a secret no more.